Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Is this day over yet?

Thank goodness it's almost bed time! I'm exhausted. What a week. Last night was my third (and worst) night of less than 4 hours of sleep. My sleep-deprived crabbiness set off a massive argument with Fireman Bobby last night. It astonishes me that I can have such dramatic break-up worthy fights with men that I'm not even dating, but it's actually not a rarity for me. This was a doozy though, not necessarily the worst fight we've ever had, but definitely the worst result. We aren't speaking now. So of course that just started my day off all bright and shiny this morning.

Work was horrendous to say the least. We are in the friggin peak of the "busy season" and I felt like my head was going to go spinning off of my neck at any moment. Work is bad even on a good day, so today I was actually have chest pains from the stress. To top it all off the geniuses running this thing decided that this week was the ideal time for our staff retreat. Wonderful. What does that mean? It means that I had three days to get five days worth of work done (didn't happen). It means that I have to make arrangements for my fur-baby, pack my bags, and miss out on my free time that I've been looking forward to after 5pm tomorrow. Instead, I'll be packed into a van full of people that I can barely stand, fighting Atlanta traffic just so we can eat at The Varsity because a drive-in with 50 people will be "fun", sitting through 5 straight hours of listening to my boss's boss talk about being a "family" when he doesn't even recognize half of our faces when we pass by and say hello, struggling to stay on my diet in the wake of The Varsity and dinner out some fancy schmancy place, and sitting on the damp ground in business-casual wear while trying to endure the humidity and insects that are sure to attack as we watch the mandatory gay ass laser show portion of the evening at Stone Mountain. A retreat is supposed to be something pleasant and relaxing. What about this sounds like a "retreat" to you? Dreadful. The only silver lining is that I get a solo hotel room and don't have to share with a random co-worker like some of the others. Thank goodness for that.

So after my ridiculous, will-this-ever-end day at work, I dragged my pitiful self on to class and proceeded to humiliate myself on my Finance final exam. It was ugly, I can't even go into it. I'm just praying for a curve and a C. But regardless of how bad that grade is sure to turn out, it is such a relief to just have it behind me. No more studying for a few weeks. Hallelujah!

To top off my crappy day, I rolled on over to the the mall in my a/c-less vehicle to look for a new top to wear tomorrow on the trip. Trying on sizes that you don't even want to touch underneath the most unflattering dressing room lighting ever is NOT the way to end an already bad day. Just take my word on that.

Enjoy the rest of your week folks! I'll be away in staff retreat hell.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Sleep Deprivation - Addendum

I took half of a bottle of "5-hour energy" this morning and I'm feeling kind of spunky! I can still tell that I'm dead tired underneath the faux energy fix, but it is definitely doing it's job. I think I might actually make it through the day now. I may purchase some more of these and use them when I need to work out because it's giving me a feeling of nervous energy that is making me want to move around a lot.... like a kid on a sugar high. I can't imagine how spazed out I would feeling if I had taken the whole bottle!

Sleep Deprivation

I've been up until at least 3am the past two nights. That means that I'm rollin' on 8 hours of total sleep in the past 48 hours. Not. A. Happy. Camper. I said at the summer that this semester would be the death of me, and I have almost proven myself right! I'm so exhausted and I just want to have this all behind me so that I don't have to worry about project or papers or finals ever again.

Despite my late hours, I still didn't finish up my final last night. It's due today at 5pm and I'm at work all day. That leaves me with only one choice. I'm about to sit at my desk and finish my final, while under the guise of being busy with real work. That's right, I said it. " Hello, I'm a sorry ass employee." I just don't care. I hate my job so much that I'm pretty much always mentally checked out at this point anyway, so I may as well be able to be productive with things that are of importance to me, right? I'm really not usually such a slacker at work, but it's finals week! And we are going to be out of the office Thursday and Friday anyway so it's certainly like everything would get done this week even if I tried. So now I'm off to finish my final before my head hits my desk in search of some REM.

Monday, July 27, 2009

On the menu today....

I'm pretty sad. As mentioned before, I am on a diet. That's not news though. I am always either on one of two extremes: dieting or eating like the grocery store is going out of business.

Well this week, it's dieting. So for breakfast I had a slice of whole wheat toast and 2 egg whites. I read that Jillian Michaels said it's the best breakfast choice when trying to loose weight. It's supposed to get your metabolism moving while keeping you full and keeping your sugar intake basically null. I have to say that it does a good job.

But now it's lunch time and I'm hungry! I forgot my sandwich. That's like the saddest thing that has happened all day. I didn't actually forget it, but a series of events that occurred this morning (which I won't go into because they make me look not so great professionally) made it impossible for me to bring my sandwich in with me. So I'm sitting her nibbling on my 14 allocated fat-free pringles for lunch, soon to be washed down by the citrus green tea that I left in the fridge last week.

Why don't I just go out and grab some lunch you ask? Well as of yesterday, the a/c in my car isn't working, despite the fact that I just shelled out about $800 bucks to have it fixed two months ago. And I can't walk across the street to the coffee shop because a) I don't trust myself not to be tempted by their divine 3-chocolate brownie and b) the split in the back of my skirt split a little further than intended this morning when I was squatting down to a bottom file cabinet. And as hungry as I am, I don't think I want the world to see the glory land that is my upper thigh/lower ass area. I am going to be so hungry by dinner time!

Sunday, July 26, 2009

My Fireman

Fireman Bobby is home! I'm happy about this, I really am, but this just seriously complicates things for me. I don't think I've mentioned him here before. There hasn't been much to say since he's been in Iraq for about two years. He's not military though, he was there serving as a contract fireman aka making hella bucks!.

Bobby and I started off pretty hot and heavy around five years ago. It didn't go far though because of distance, timing, and my issues with dating someone that already had a kid. We've stayed really close though and over the years we have run the gamut from the aforementioned "hot and heavy" to being the best of friends and everything in between those extremes.

The problem is... this is the first time that we have both been single and in the same country in quite some time. The last time we were under these circumstances, we were definitely more than platonic friends and now that he is back that's where he wants to pick up from. That is ohhhh so tempting! But I don't think that it would go any further. And I'm not even sure how much "further" I am looking for. It just always gets so complicated with us. Not to mention the fact that I'm not feeling very "hot and heavy" worthy right now since I'm so out of shape.

But how can I say no to something so ridiculously fantasmic!? What is it about a fireman in his gear?





Procrastination

"Procrastination is like masturbation. It may feel good for a while, but in the end you realize that you just screwed yourself."

That's one of my favorite quotes, as vulgar as it may be. I'm drawn to it because I am the queen of procrastination. I entered the weekend with a shit load of school work to do and a master plan to spread it all out over three days to ensure that I got it all done. I sit here now on Sunday afternoon with not one thing completed! In my defense, I am almost done with a paper that I finally began last night, but that's not much progress in the grand scheme of things. I still have to finish the paper, take a 4 hour take-home final, do a finance project that I don't even begin to understand yet, and study for another final that I have this week. Oh yeah, I definitely just screwed myself!

And I know this! I know that I have so much work do that I may not even be able to finish if I work straight through for the next 12 hours. Yet, what am I doing? Am I hard at work on anything? Nope. I'm finding absolutely anything to keep myself from doing any of it. I've vacuumed, I've cleaned my dogs ears, I've started laundry, I've read blogs, I've played on facebook, I've experimented with a recipe in the kitchen, I've made lists of things to do later, I've even cleaned the baseboards in my bathroom, and now I'm blogging about it. Is that sad or what?!

Why do I put myself in this position all the time!? I'm screwed.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Comeback Tour 2009

Hi, remember me? I've been in hiding for the past three months, but I think I might be back. I've been inspired by my old friend Leslie to return to the blogsphere. I'm going to try my best to keep it up this time, since I really do enjoy it. It's just a matter of finding the time and I'm going to work on that. So I here I am, kicking off The Dandelion Chronicles Comeback Tour of 2009.

Let's get started...

First, let me get up to date on what's been going on in my world lately. Coach Bobby did indeed get cut from the lineup a few months ago. It was unfortunate to have to cut such a nice, attractive fella. However, when an incident arose involving an empty ring box and a fake proposal "just to see what [I] would say," I knew that he was a little too psycho-adjacent for my taste. Sayonara Coach Bobby. Meanwhile, The Spaniard wants us to get married and have kids like next week and we haven't even been out on a date together in over 2 years. The Virgin has somehow worked his way back into my prospects, College Crush is now in a serious LTR and that pisses me off even though I have no right to be pissed, and Fireman Bobby is home from Iraq for good (you'll probably hear more about that later). And I received a random text from Survivorman this week completely out of the blue. I couldn't open it for some reason though, but I wrote back anyway. That's the first time we've broken the silence since December, but I haven't heard back from him again, so I'm not going to let myself get too worked up over it. So that's the current status of my social life in a nut shell. Click here if you need to refer back to my "man roster".

I made the aggressive, yet foolish, decision to go to graduate school full-time this summer in an attempt to hurry up and finish this effing degree. Summer is the busiest time EVER at work. I'm normally working until at least 7 or 8 every night and still finding myself behind and never able to catch up. Because of that, I haven't even been brave enough to try part-time classes in the summer since, which is why I haven't graduated yet! So I just jumped right head first with summer classes, which means that I must leave work at exactly 5pm on the dot to go to class because classes start at 5pm. Obviously, this means that I'm late to class everyday no matter how hard I try to rush. So my days go from 8am to 10pm. It has been a LONG summer. Actually, that's an understatement. I've been on the verge of a complete mental breakdown since the beginning of June (so much so that my parent's have gotten really concerned!). But there is light at the end of the tunnel and I'm so close now that it's blinding me! If I can just make it through next Wednesday aka one more paper, one project, and 2 finals , I'll have the summer semester behind me. Then I will just have one graduate class and one undergraduate pre-req class left. I'm going to take one in Atlanta and one in the next city over. So by the end of this year, I will finally be done with this God-forsaken MBA program!

So with so much stress this summer, you can bet your Big Mac that I've been doing a lot of stress eating. Yes, I'm a stress eater. I eat my feelings, eat to stay awake, eat to calm down, eat to smother out the psychotic screams that I often feel bubbling up in my throat. So I'm a friggin' whale. I started a WW/Biggest Loser program with several of my girls a month or so ago and I was doing well at first, but then mid-terms came and spurts of extra craziness at work and I fell off the wagon. And I fell hard. The wagon basically ran over my lard ass. But I'm back on track as of this week and I'm trying desperately to catch up, but I'm already feeling winded. Hopefully, I will be able to make some progress with my extra free time that I will have in between summer and fall semesters and I'll be able to keep it up. If so, I'm sure I'll be writing more about that.

Work. What to say about work other than I hate it and it sucks the life out of me. I have to be here at least until the first week of September in order to take advantage of the free tuition, but then I am a free woman. I would be more excited about that if the job market weren't so bleak right now. I've been looking and there just aren't many ideal opportunities out there right now. And when I throw in the possibility of relocating after the first of the year, it makes me think I may have to ride it out in the office from hell a little longer. I'll go into more detail about the relocating later. I'm kind of pumped at the thought of it.

So that's the gist of what you've missed me rambling on about it. Aren't you glad I summarized it so briefly instead? I'm excited to get reacquainted with my blog. Let's just hope the blogging bug sticks this time!